Thursday, January 03, 2008

My name is RB, I endorsed this message and I'm running for president

When I turned 35, I announced to all my friends and neighbors that I was running for president. I had examined all of the recent candidates and announcements and decided I was equally qualified.

However, it was not an election year, so I soon bowed out. Now, 14 years later, I'm reannouncing my candidacy.

Since I'm entering the fanfare a little late, I'll plan a slow entrance. I'll start by announcing and deciding my platform. This will help all of my followers (thanks mom) decide which of the current candidates should be elected to hold my place until I'm truly ready. In fact, he or she could revoke the constitutional amendment that placed term limits on the presidency so that once I win the office, I can retain it forever, in the spirit of my senator, Strom Thurmond.

So, over the next several weeks, I'll post my ideas on the presidency and what I believe are important subjects to be covered. Since I'm a formulas and function kind of guy (see my post on functions), I'll also put some sort of priority or weighting with each idea. This way and astute reader could write a simple function for Excel to decide which of the current candidates best fits my model.

Regular readers will know that I've already stated there was one candidate I could NOT vote for, that's Rudy G. See my reasoning here. They may also note that I've suggested Jenna Bush for president (see here), but it's going to be a while before she's eligible. Other than these two items, I haven't decided who I will vote for. I fully expect to make that decision as a part of this exercise.

So be looking for my posts. Tell your friends and neighbors, dogs and cats, dead uncles and aunts to all vote for me (it works in Chicago). Seriously read my posts and comment on them. If you disagree with me, feel free to say so. I reserve the right to flip-flop as often as Clinton and Romney have been accused. After all, one man's flip-flop is another man's shoe.


Neil said...

Run, Randy, run!

Randy Barnett said...

Thanks Neil.

I'm really hoping to outline the ideas that I think are important for this race.

Anonymous said...

Hold off on the platform and start designing a good yard sign. That seems to be what the typical apathetic American cares about.

Randy Barnett said...

Yard signs! I didn't think of that.

Can you be my Yard Sign creator for my campaign? I don't have a creative bone in my body (which several people have noticed).

And I needs some cheesy TV commercials too! We can promise everything: Free unlimited health care, big screen HDTV, and whirled peas.

Anonymous said...

Sure, as long as it doesn't require any actual work. I haven't been able to use Photoshop Elements 2.0 since I upgraded to Vista and I refuse to buy a new version.

Randy Barnett said...

Given the fact I won't need the yard signs until 2012, you'll have plenty of time to get Photoshop and Vista to play together.

But wait a minute, maybe I should put up signs now for the 2012 election....