Friday, March 28, 2008

Oregon man says he's pregnant

Ok, most of you will just find this repulsive. Yes, you read the title right. Seems a man in Oregon is now (at least) 22 weeks pregnant. How did this happen? Well, it turns out the man is "transgendered" - that is he started out as a female. Somewhere along the way he decided to change sides, now he's considered a man. But he kept his female parts (I don't know or even want to know about male parts). I was going to post a link to the story, but even thinking about it is upsetting my breakfast. If you want to read more, do a search on "oregon man pregnant".

So, why would I blog about this? Well, first I'm avoiding writing my final note about Obama's racism speech. Procrastination may not solve anything, but at least it puts things off. And a second reason, is that I have a couple of good jokes about it.

Some folks have commented that they think I'm pregnant. Looking at my "bulge" (it's actually beyond a bulge), they will ask about it. I simply rub my protruding belly and say that I'm due in February (this works best in the fall). In fact, I still have a button that says "I'm due in February", so I can say this with confidence.

Then I tell the questioner my favorite story, that I've never seen an EPT test come back negative. My wife tried those things three times, they always showed positive. They've come a long way since 1984, when I first saw one. We studied that thing carefully for 10 minutes. At the proper "end time", the circle showed, but then was gone within a few more minutes. Our joy was tempered with fear that we had read it wrong, but soon enough, the doctor confirmed out happiness.

By the third time we needed an EPT, the test had gotten much easier and cheaper. My wife bought a double set, so she could try it a second time just in case. The testing was much quicker and much more clear, so there was no doubt and no reason to use the second test. I told her that I wanted to try it. I had never seen one negative and we had an extra one, so why not? Instead of allowing me to try it, she threw it away. (I've been told by others that they have seen these show negative and I've learned that this is not funny to certain women - use with caution).

My final joke about pregnancy is to tell soon-to-be mom's that childbirth is no big deal. I've been through it three times with no pain reliever at all, and I came through ok. I did take a little time off, but I went back to work in about a week and had no problems. (Typically, I make sure I'm more than an arm's length away before I say this).

Note to any female offended by these comments: Someday, I will post a blog about how I've worked with a few couples who couldn't conceive and I understand their pain.


Neil said...

Thanks for the laughs! It reminds me of when my wife would read the pregnancy tests. I think that pink meant pregnant, and the conversation would go like this:

Her: It's pink, right?
Me: Yes, I think it's pink.
Her: Are you sure? Do you think it's pink?
Me: Yes, I think it's pink.
Her: It's pink, right?


emilymburgess said...

You never cease to amaze me. Thanks for keeping all of us females on our toes!

PS I wouldn't have let you try it either!