What would Chuck Colson say about Chuck Colson?

In case you missed the news, Chuck Colson died over the weekend. I first found out by reading a tweet about his life, then searched and found out about his death.

I need to start by saying I didn't (and still don't) know much about Colson. I know he was involved in Watergate, but couldn't tell you how. I know he had a religious experience in prison and started Prison Fellowship Ministries.   I listened to some of Colson's radio commentaries, and while I agreed with them most of the time, I didn't care for his style and can really only recall one (see below). He's just never been that interesting to me.

That said, I was amazed at some of the vitriol that I saw in some of the commentary this weekend. They pointed out his crimes, his attitudes, and his strong, conservative Biblical views, all in a very negative way. This made me think: What would Chuck Colson say about Chuck Colson?

Which brings me to the one commentary of Colson's I remember, or at least remember partly. The premise was based on a sign that he saw that said "don't help a good boy go bad."  The sign was promoting a Boy's Club of some sort and asking for donations. Colson's comment was that they weren't good boys, they were bad boys - born to sin just like the rest of us. A better goal would be to help a bad boy go good.

Anyone who doubts this, needs to work with kids. You don't have to teach a kid how to lie or how to steal. You don't have to teach them how to be conniving. Just this past weekend, I saw a kid who was told not to step onto a soccer field, step one foot across the line and look back at the adults as if to dare them to punish him (they did). This behavior is ingrained into boys (and girls).

Which is what I think Colson would say about Colson. That he was a sinner.  Not a good person at all. And in many ways, those who have only vitriol to share are right. And they can boast that they are simply saying what Colson would say about himself.

When Hubert met Rose

This is the story of how my father-in-law was introduced to my mother-in-law. I've heard the story told numerous times and it always warmed my heart.

The story starts in 1955, when Hubert Lawrence became a widow. He and his 17 year old son Tommy were living alone after the death of his first wife Della. Tommy worked at a local mill as a doffer, someone who replaced bobbins in the machines where the (mostly) ladies were sewing. One of those ladies was Rose.

Apparently, Tommy had a mischievous streak. Something that he did aggravated Rose that day and she told him "I'd like to be your mother for just one day." It's never been clear to me if she knew his mother had died a few weeks earlier or not, but I can just imagine her pointing her crooked finger at him as she said it (her finger probably wasn't crooked then, but it was all the time I knew her).

That night, Tommy told his father that there was a lady at the mill who wanted to meet him. So Hubert went to meet Rose at the boarding house where she lived. When she told the story about his big shoes clomping up the stairs to the porch, you could hear the sound it made.

About five weeks later (sometimes this was as short as five days when Rose told the story) he picked her up in his car to take her for a ride. When she asked where they were going he replied "to get a marriage license." I guess that served as a proposal.

Her answer was a simple "oh, ok" (which I guess meant "yes") and a day later they were married at the preacher's house. Unknown to them at the time, her brother Claude got married the same day in the next state about 45 miles away.

Now some will question the romance of this short courtship, but somehow it must have worked. Hubert and Rose were married just short of 40 years before he passed away on Dec 3, 1994. She lived alone for 17 years and her blue eyes always sparkled when she told this story. On November 26, 2011, Rose met Hubert again in heaven.

Elizabeth Edwards dies at age 61

Unless you missed the news, Elizabeth Edwards passed away today. She was 61.

I wrote about Mrs. Edwards' cancer back in 2007 (here). Let me echo something I said back then. There will be those who say this is God's punishment for something or another. Shame on them.

My heart goes out to the family. She left three children, including a 12 year old and a 10 year old. These children will have to go on without a mother.

One interesting tidbit that I found was that Edwards' son Wade (who was killed in an auto accident at age 16) was honored by then First Lady Clinton for an essay he wrote. After his death, the essay and his obituary were entered into the Congressional Record by Senator Jesse Helms (for those unfamiliar with Helms, he would have seldom agree with the Edwardses politically).

Goodbye to Wesley

A few times in the past I have taken on the duty of saying good bye to someone on my blog. Today is another such day.

Wesley would have been seven months old today. His mom was a close friend of both of my daughters and his maternal grandparents were close friends of mine. A little over two months ago, he started displaying signs of an illness that ended up being something in his immune system. His own body was attacking his red blood cells. On Friday, his fight ended.

Wesley's mom was like another daughter to me. She was always at my house and I know my girls were often at her house. One of my favorite memories was when she caught me napping (and snoring) on a Sunday afternoon. Her mom & dad helped my family on two major occasions (and numerous minor ones) when we needed it. Even though I moved 100 miles away twelve years ago, there was always the feeling that we would help each other out when needed.

While I travel frequently, only in the last couple of months have I gone to the town where Wesley was hospitalized. Then, out of the blue, I had two trips to the town. I took that as a sign that I was supposed to visit his family. I've said before that I don't believe in coincidence, that I believe in Providence (see here and here). I believe Providence caused me to have two business trips to see Wesley's family. I got to meet his dad and his paternal grandparents. And hopefully, I eased the burden on some old friends.

Goodbye Wesley. Your family will miss you, but rest assured that they are loved and we'll look out for them.

Another loss...

I've used this forum in the past to eulogize people close to me that have passed on. Today, I want to talk about another loss, this time our pet, Toby.

Toby was born on March 9, 1995 and turned 14 earlier this year. Based on my math, that made him over 100 in dog years. Back then, we went to visit his mother's owner's house and when the kids saw puppies, they had to have one. We picked one out and came back a few weeks later to take him home. On April 29, Toby moved to his new home - we had a pet.

Looking through some records, I found that Toby was 8.4 pounds on his first doctor visit a few weeks after we got him. I recall that he was so small we worried he would get stuck in a 4 inch drain pipe (I put a cover on the pipe to keep that from happening). He soon outgrew that risk all together.




Toby was a mix of breeds. Primarily Black Lab, he also had a lot of Border Collie in him and possibly some Chow. This made him a loving, fun dog. The Border Collie made his hair long as seen in these pictures. When we had him groomed the first time, his hair had gotten matted and it was past time. The only way they could groom him was to cut his hair in some places all the way to the skin. When we picked him up, they told us not to laugh at him, that it would embarrass him. I remember thinking "HE'S A DOG!".

But then he came out with his tail (literally) between his legs. He was indeed embarrassed. We praised him and told him how good he looked. After that, every time he was groomed, he walked around with his head held high, proud of his new look.


In 1998, Toby moved with the rest of us to Greenville, SC. He took the move well and made the deck his primary sleeping place. He would stand on the deck and survey HIS backyard.

Lately, Toby spent more time inside. When my grandson started crawling, he would crawl all over Toby. Toby just lay there, taking it all in. If it got too rough, Toby would simply get up and move outside.


In the last few years, Toby had developed arthritis. We treated this with some medicine from the vet. When he first began taking the medicine, he reacted very well. He seemed to even dance when we would roll up the pill in a slice of cheese. But unfortunately, the arthritis seemed to adapt to the medicine and he soon slowed down again and stopped dancing.

This past year, Toby had trouble standing up from a laying down position. He got around this by standing longer than he should. Of course, this made his legs hurt more. When we had him groomed, he lay in the floor for a couple days to recuperate.



In recent weeks, he had fallen 2 or 3 times and had trouble getting back up. He had lost a lot of muscle mass in his hips and body. The doctor said that this usually meant some form of cancer.

At his age, doing more diagnostics didn't make sense. If we found some cancer, it's unlikely he could stand the treatment.

Trips to the vet had become painful for Toby. Even getting up out of the floor was painful. After a lot of soul searching, I had to make a decision on what was easiest for him. So after 14+1/2 years, I decided it was time to end Toby's pain.

The hardest part of this was calling the kids and telling them. We had talked about it for a few weeks, so hopefully it wasn't a surprise. But I know it's hard on them to loose a pet that has been a part of the family for so long.


We will always remember Toby and the joy he brought us.

Tobias "Toby" Andrew Barnett
March 9, 1995 - December 2, 2009

The secret to longer life - ever decreasing estate taxes

I've been reading a lot of financial websites and blogs lately, including Consumerism Commentary. The blog post for yesterday posed an interesting idea, that changes in estate tax law affect when people die.

The idea is this, when estate taxes are set to increase, people die just before the increase, thereby saving their heirs on their taxes. On the contrary, when estate taxes are set to decrease, they hang on until the decrease comes about, again saving their heirs some real dollars.

So, here's a simple way to increase the life span -- set estate taxes to decrease each year. Eventually, they will go to zero, so then we will need an ever increasing estate tax credit. That means if your relative dies and leaves you money, the government will kick in some more for in a tax credit. I can see the ads now, if Uncle Joe dies, we'll pay you $100. But wait, if he hangs on until next year, you will get $200.

Of course, the estate tax only applies to people who have an estate of over $3.5MILLION, so I'm out of luck. Guess I'll just have to pick another way to schedule my exit...

P.S. I wanted to put something in here about death panels, but couldn't quite figure out how to fit it in... I'm sure one of my commenters will find a way

There will be wars and rumors of wars

Over the weekend, I had the opportunity to misquote the subject verse. It's one of my favorites and I misquote it often to fit whatever need arises.

But my point always matches the point of the original verse. Matthew 24:6-7 is when the disciples talk about the end times. Jesus' answer is that there will be wars and rumors of wars, but that's not the end. Things may look bad, but it's not all over (yet).

I think the point is that there will always be bad things happen. But it's not the end of the world. So what are we to do about it? Jesus answered that later in verse 41, when He said "Watch and pray." Be alert, prepare and pray. When you turn it over to Jesus, you don't have to worry about it any more.

This morning I got a call that a co-worker passed away over the weekend. I've worked with him (mostly by phone) for about 5 or 6 years at a couple of different customers. He was 64, scheduled to retire the end of this year. I don't know much about his personal life, we didn't work that closely together. But it seems that he was not that old, in reasonably good health and had a reasonably good life.

So, is it coincidence that this verse came to me over the weekend? It was a very different setting. It had nothing to do with death. But it seems to me that this was brought to my attention to prepare me for this news..

Can a heart die twice?

This is a confusing story. I typically don't like pulling articles out of the paper and then blogging about them, but I couldn't resist on this one. I saw the article over the weekend and shared it with a few family members. Then I researched it on the web and found a little more information.

Seems Cheryl's father had something to do with some subsidized apartments. Terry was working for him, managing one of the apartment buildings. Terry was married (two daughters) when he met Cheryl and unfortunately, passion flared. Cheryl's first marriage had recently been annulled because her husband was already married. She and her first husband had 2 boys. He must've been a great guy, not only was he married to Cheryl and someone else at the same time, when she started seeing Terry, he was the one who told Terry's wife.

Anyway, Terry and his wife were soon divorced and Terry & Cheryl got married (nine days between divorce & remarriage for Terry). Terry & Cheryl were blessed with a daughter (her 3rd child). But less than 6 years into their marriage, things took a sour turn. She was making more money than him, and decided they couldn't stay married. At some point, "she took off her wedding ring and threw it over the fence."

On his way out the door, Terry took a detour into his bathroom, took out his .22-caliber gun and shot himself. He didn't die immediately: spent 4 days in the trauma unit before Cheryl agreed to take him off life support and donate his organs. Sonny enters the picture as the recipient of Terry's heart. Sonny was a 57 year old man, married for over 30 years with 2 children.

The heart was a good match for Sonny and a year and a half later, he decided to thank the family of his young donor. At a restaurant in Charleston, he "couldn't keep his eyes of the 30-year old widow" and "fell in love." But, at least then, the love wasn't returned.

Three months later, Cheryl married George, her husband number 3. Sonny gave the bride away. She had a son about 2 years later (child #4), but about the same time, her relationship with Sonny became something more than fatherly. Sonny wrote his wife a letter apologizing for destroying their now 40-year plus relationship. Both couples separate and when Sonny's divorce is final, he and Cheryl move in together. (Let's call him husband number 3.5)

This lasted about 2 years and then they split up. She marries husband #4, John. This lasts about a year, before it ends, both accusing each other of domestic abuse. By the time she is legally divorced, she's already wearing Sonny's ring. They marry soon afterwards (making him husband #3.5 & husband #5).

But alas, this too was doomed. After about 3 years, Sonny decided he had had too much. After almost exactly 13 years with a borrowed heart, a heart that had already once committed suicide, Sonny took his own life.

Reports are that Cheryl is already dating again and changed her MySpace page. The next husband needs to have his own heart, the heart that died twice has stopped beating for good.

*** Now, to make Emily happy, how do I feel about this? Well the focus of the story ends up being a lady, who comes across as a gold digger. A black widow. I'm not sure those terms are justified.

Keeping track of this story forced me to take notes, check them twice and find a second article on the web. Look at how many lives have been messed up in the process. Grandparents are now suing for rights to see their grandchildren. Husband #4 reports threats from Cheryl. The Georgia Bureau of Investigations is looking into the last death (still not closed).

So many lives torn apart. I'm not sure that Cheryl deserves to be called a black widow. But I certainly don't want to meet her face to face.

Tim Russert

There's no question in my mind that Tim Russert was a good man. As for his eternal destination, it's not mind to judge. But on this earth, he was a good newscaster, moderator and journalist. I didn't see his show every Sunday, in fact very few Sundays (I was usually at church). I did record some of the shows (when there was a special guest I wanted to hear) and I really liked his political comments.

But was he really worth all this attention? Was he better than Peter Jennings, another journalist who died recently? Was he better than any of the other recent deaths that have happened in this world?

Seems like there's been a little too much attention.

the five people you meet in heaven - book report

Ok, just for the record, the book is fiction and probably not scripturally accurate. But it's a good book.

So what happens when you die? Does your entire life pass in front of your eyes? Do you see your family? Do you come back as some other being? Is heaven the Garden of Eden? Well, Mitch
Albom says you meet five people. These are people who have had some impact on your life and have passed on before you. In some way, they changed your life forever. Their purpose is to tell you one thing about your life. To answer one question.

Mitch tells a story about Eddie, the maintenance man at the amusement park down by the pier. Eddie was a veteran who felt like his life never quite amounted to much. Then on his 83rd birthday, he dies in an accident at the park, trying to save a young girls life. He feels two small hands in his hands, then nothing.

Eddie meets his five people and they explain details about his life that he never understood. Why did he get shot in the war? Why do some people live and others die?

I really enjoyed reading this and went through it in short time. I kept wondering, who would my five people be? Which people in my life had the most impact? Mr Gaines, my high school history teacher? Mrs. Jones the math teacher? How about Dennis from my first real job?

Who would be the five people you meet?

The Facebook generation

Recently, a young girl from a town close to mine died while jogging. It was her first week at college. I didn't know her and she didn't go to my son's high school, but she went to a school very close by and there were likely some friends in common. I told him about it as I wanted him to hear from me first, not from his friends

Later, out of curiosity, I went to see if she had a facebook page. Silly question, all kids that age have a facebook page. Hers was open and I could see comments and messages that other people had sent her.

Several people left her comments after her death. They knew she was dead and were saying things like "we will miss you" or "I can't believe it's true". Some messages were spiritual and offered hope for the girl or hope for others who read the messages.

This struck me as very odd. I would never leave a message like this. After all, we know the person won't get the message. But I thought it was very neat.