Maintenance

Random thought day.

I had this idea about maintenance. Cars need maintenance. Oil needs to be changed regularly. Belts changed, filters replaced. The inside needs to be cleaned, cups & burger bags thrown away, vacuumed, treat the vinyl so it doesn't dry out etc. Even adding gas to the tank is maintenance

If a car isn't maintained, it will soon fall apart. I speak from some experience here. Years ago, I had some major engine troubles with a car because of a lack of oil changes. Very expensive. I could have had oil changes for life with what it cost. If the car doesn't literally fall apart, it may run poorly. It will fetch less at resale time.

Other things in life need maintenance too. Doing the dishes is maintenance. Mopping, sweeping, vacuuming. The house needs maintenance. Some people like this kind of maintenance. With medication, they may be healed.

The body needs maintenance. Sleep is maintenance. Teenagers like to run without sleep. I think they are afraid they will miss some fun if they sleep. (I try to never miss out on a good nap) I'm sure exercise could be called maintenance, but that's carrying this analogy a little too far (and getting personal).

Relationships need maintenance. I need to do a better job of this.

Life in general needs maintenance. Where else is maintenance required?

Do opposites attract?

You've heard it before, opposites attract. I've even seen a few cases where it seemed to be true, my wife & I for one. My daughter & her husband are another. She's a planner, he's free wheeling. She expresses her emotions, he holds them in. As for my wife and I, let's just say we have a strange and wonderful relationship -- I'm strange and she's wonderful.

I heard once a saying (I think from Larry Burkette) that in a marriage if both people are the same, one isn't needed. So what makes a good relationship?

I think you have to have a common background. Some fundamental values that match up. It also helps if you genuinely LIKE each other. I've seen cases where a couple were in love, but didn't like each other. After a while, they tire of each other. I've seen cases where the fundamental values didn't match. When times get tough, they go separate ways. When all that's left is the basics, the basics just don't match.

I've known a couple who were in an arranged marriage. In their culture, this was the norm. When they were young, the parents chose them to be together. They had a choice when they grew older, but they decided if the parents set this up, they would go through with it. Today, they are doing very well with two children. They actually liked each other and they had the same fundamental values.

I also believe it takes a commitment to stay together. Both people have to have the commitment. I've long said it takes two to keep a marriage together, but only one to split it apart. Without a commitment, there are two many times where it would be easy to walk away. Or walk to someone else.