The camping trip that wasn't

I was supposed to go camping this week. Unfortunately (for me), Fay had other plans. On Monday, I drove in the mist and sprinkles to Table Rock. This is about an hour from home and a wonderful State Park. Of course I packed the tent, some groceries, cooking supplies, hiking supplies and a couple of good books. My purpose was to get away and refocus some of my thoughts.

All the way there, I kept wondering if this was really stupid. I don't mind a little rain, and we certainly need it in this area, but tents are not a good place to stay in a monsoon. And if it was raining the entire time, I wouldn't get to do much hiking.

At this point, a little aside is required. I'm a believer in signs. I believe that when God wants to tell you something, He uses signs to speak to you. Not billboards or burning bushes - but of course, He could do that if He wanted - but little things. So I was wondering if all of this much needed rain was a sign that He didn't want me to go camping.

I missed my turn into the park and travelled west on Highway 11 about 2 miles too far. All of a sudden, I hit a downpour. I turned around and headed back and looked carefully for the entrance. When I entered, I headed to the campsites. I couldn't check in because the ranger station wasn't open, so I went to inspect the sights. I made a few mental notes and then tried to decide what to do while waiting on the station to open. I decided I could take a small hike, hoping the weather would clear - I hate the idea of putting up a tent in the rain.

Once at the trail head, the rain returned. OK, it was a good chance to eat an early lunch. As I got out of the truck, God decided to speak to me, clearly and loudly. In the form of lightning and thunder. And then more lightning and thunder. I got back into my truck and decided to think more about whether this was a good trip or not. After a few minutes, I went ahead and fixed my lunch, using the cab of my truck as my kitchen and lunch room (sandwiches aren't that hard to make).

Then I remembered part of my purpose was to read not just a book, but The Book, so I pulled out my Bible to read some. First Psalm 42 & 43 to refocus, then I wondered what was God's message. Well, using the concordance, I decided to look up references to thunder and lightning. What I found was that almost every reference referred to God's wrath or to punishment.

I have been accused before of being slow, but I'm here to say that's not the case. When God speaks to me, it only takes about 5 to 10 times before I get the message. So camping was not to be.

Instead I've stayed home this week and read my books. I've done a couple of honey-do's and relaxed and refocused from the comfort of my bed as opposed to a sleeping bag. I'm hoping to get a camping trip in soon, hopefully with no thunder or lightning.

Oh, I should also mention that on Tuesday, a tornado was spotted about 25 miles away from Table Rock. The same storm brought thunderstorms to Table Rock and some flooding. A hiker in nearby North Carolina lost his gear in a flash flood and had to be rescued. There were also mudslides in that area. I'm convinced, I was not meant to camp this time around. You only have to tell me about 5 times for me to learn that

Batteries

On Saturday, after becoming an empty nester (see Sunday's post), I took my wife's car to the local auto parts store to have the battery tested. It had failed to start earlier that morning, and the battery seemed like the best bet. Once it was checked out, the store-worker confirmed that the power in it was low (something like 100 amps, vs expected 400). He also checked the alternator and saw that it was putting out 14 volts, which meant it was in good shape. A new battery was purchased and the car is fine now.

This morning, the optical mouse on my desktop computer stopped working. This happens pretty frequently, and rather than wasting energy by turning on the low battery light, it just dies. I stopped at WalMart this morning for a pack of AAA's and it should be working again soon.

So where is all this leading? Well, it's time to recharge my personal batteries. This year has been a particularly frustrating year at work and it doesn't look like it's going to get better. So it's time for me to take a vacation.

Next week I plan to go camping at Table Rock State Park. One of the beautiful things about this State Park is that there are no computer hookups. No cell phones. Just peace and quiet. I plan on doing a little hiking, but since I'm not in 100% shape (maybe not even 75%), I won't attempt a climb to the top. There are a few nice shorter trails that I'll use. I'll take my camera, a few good books and the Good Book and just get away for a while.

I'm planning on 3 days (2 nights), but depending on the weather (hopefully Fay will have visited and gone) and how I feel, I may shorten or extend the trip.

I'll miss the Democratic Convention (darn), but it will go on without me. I'll catch up on the news when I get back. Consider this a fast (or really a "slow"), away from computers, the internet, tv and work. I'll probably post once or twice more this week, then no computers for a week

Empty Nest - Part 2

Back in May 2005, I was accused of suffering from empty nest syndrome (I encourage you to go back and read my blog post here). Well, today, the nest moved one more step towards empty.

My youngest child, my son, moved off to college today. It's not a long trip, about an hour, and in fact, I've got to take him some things he forgot tomorrow. Such is the life of an "empty nester" - the job is never done.

I've decided that the anxiety that is expected to accompany and empty nest is over all of the things that you forgot to teach the one who has left. Does he know to brush his teeth? What if he forgets a homework assignment? Did he write down every transaction in his checkbook? I'm sure there are MANY things I've forgotten to teach him over the last 18 years and many more things that he was taught, but he just didn't learn.

But regardless, he's off to a new phase of his life and so, I begin a new phase of my life. For the first time in almost 25 years, there are no children living at home. I'm not sure what this new phase brings, but I look forward to finding out. Who knows, maybe I'll be like Terry Bradshaw in the movie Failure to Launch and turn his room into my Naked Room. But probably not until he moves out for good.

Small bills

Back in June, I posted a note about past due bills. In it, I mentioned a bill I got several years ago for 6cents. Last week, I had another such bill come in.

Up until a few years ago, I had a Delta Sky Miles American Express card. I thought I was getting ahead by gaining Sky Miles every time I used my card. But then I had to pay an annual fee. So, when renewal time came around, I called and asked them to waive the charge. They offered me other American Express cards, but wouldn't waive the fees on the Sky Miles card. So I cancelled and went for a better deal.

That's been at least two years ago, if not three or more. Then last week I got a bill from them for 10cents. Yep, they spent 42cents to mail me a bill for 10cents. So, I called and spoke to a very nice man who looked at my account. He could only look at one year's worth of history and he could see my account had been closed all that time. And he could see the 10cents was on the bill for the entire time.

With a chuckle, he waived the 10cents charge and made it go away. I explained that this was the first bill I had received on this account and wondered where the 10cents came from. He said he didn't know and I decided to leave well enough alone.

Now, I wonder, how long should I keep the bill for 10cents? I wrote the name and date of the person I spoke to. Do you think American Express would sue my over a late bill for that small amount?

My Christmas List - Icon A5

This is a picture of what I want for Christmas. The Icon A5. Have you ever sat in a traffic jam, and looked up and said, if I could only fly out of here...

The Icon A5 is a light sport aircraft that seats two. It should be able to take off and land about anywhere (needs about 750 feet), the videos show it taking off and landing on water. Meet your friends out on a island, take a picnic lunch to the mountains, go just about anywhere. Flying lessons are offered, supposedly you only need about 20 hours of training. A valid driver's license is the only requirement.

With top speeds of up to 120 mph, this will get you to your meeting in record time. My weekly commute to Columbia SC will go from about 90 minutes to about 45. It folds up and my guess is will fit in a parking spot (be sure to take the parking pass with you).

It has a parachute (optional, but I'm thinking a good thing) that can be deployed in an emergency that can bring "the entire airplane gently to the ground," an intuitive cockpit that looks like the driver's seat of an automobile and "forgiving flight characteristics.

The plane seats two, perfect for a couple's getaway. As we will soon be empty nester's, I think we deserve this machine. The baggage limit is 60 pounds, so my wife will have to pack light. The price is actually reasonable, only $139,000. While that sounds like a lot, think of the fact that there are some cars that cost that much. And if all 5 kids pitch in, it's only about $27,500 each.

If you can't fit this under the tree, you could always put a model airplane there. Here's a picture of what we'll look like:



You can see all the details here: http://iconaircraft.com/

Word Picture - Integrity

I like word pictures. It's where you define a word, by building a picture, telling a story. The result is a more robust definition, something that sticks with you for a long time.

One such word picture surrounds my idea of integrity. Wikipedia defines integrity as being the concept of basing of one's actions on an internally consistent framework of principles. Back in June, I posted on character and I spoke of integrity by asking the questions "Does a person's walk match his talk? Does he do what he says he will do? Does he follow through?"

But a better word picture comes from a pastor I knew in Charlotte, NC. It's been on my mind a lot and I got to share it with some folks this morning. A little research (thanks to Google) told me that it comes from the Latin word sometimes interpreted sincere, which literally means "no wax".

The picture is that of pottery. Pottery is of course made out of clay. It is shaped carefully for a particular purpose, say carrying water. Then it is placed in an oven to bake it. During the baking process, the clay can shrink and sometimes leave cracks. Of course a pot with cracks is pretty useless, so it should be thrown away.

But some dishonest dealers found they could fill the cracks with wax. They might paint the pot, to make it pretty and then sell it to an unsuspecting buyer. The pot works fine until it ages or is heated and the wax melts out. Then the pot is fairly useless for carrying water.

The word integrity can be literally interpreted "no wax". It's a finer grade of pot and the seller has the integrity of only selling pots with no cracks.

Flip-flop

Personally, I can't stand to wear these kind of "shoes". My wife loves them and would wear them all year. Well, maybe not outside in winter, but definitely inside.

In a recent "Family Circus" cartoon, Dolly commented how the toes don't like flip-flops because the big toe was separated from the other toes.

But lately, presidential candidate flip-flops have been in the news lately and it wasn't about their foot attire (although I did see one candidate running in the surf, he might have had flip-flops). Seems the candidates have been accused of flipping or flopping, but neither will admit it.

I have to personally say that I'm not opposed to political flip-flops. Hear me out. There is a time to admit that you've felt a particular way in the past and now you've changed. One of the best examples of this was the late Strom Thurmond.

In his early days, Thurmond was a staunch segregationist, and some might even say racist. He was a WWII veteran, having left a position as judge to volunteer for the 82nd Airborne. When Democrats started supporting civil rights issues, he left the party and started the Dixiecrat party. He even ran for president so that he could influence issues his way. His popularity became so great, he was the only person ever elected to the senate in a write-in vote (see here).

Thurmond is probably best known for holding the record for the longest filibuster in Senate history (24 hours, 18 minutes) attempting to stop the civil rights act of 1957. In 1964, Thurmond switched parties and became a Republican (major flip-flop).

Later in his career, Thurmond supported the Voting Rights Act and making the birthday of Martin Luther King a holiday. He also enjoyed widespread support from African-American voters in SC. Another flip-flop for a die-hard segregationalist?

I believe that Thurmond changed his mind when he realized he was wrong. Whether it was all politics or it was real, we'll never really know, but he did change his political position. And it was a change for the better.

Flip-flops are not necessarily a bad thing. I know that candidates don't want to admit to flip-flopping, but they should realize that it's not always bad. When they see that a better idea exists, or an exception to a stance needs to be made, they should embrace it, not deny it.

Working from home

I've posted information before about my schedule before, this week is different. This week I've spent the last two days and will spend today working from home. This is typical for me, busy days away at customers, then a few days here catching up on "desk" work. But I thought I'd explain what working from home is like.

Typically, I get up before 7am and fix me some breakfast and coffee (see yesterday's comments about coffee). Then I start work by reviewing any emails that came in overnight (typically 5-10, most of which are garbage) and responding as necessary. I turn on my "radio" to the local conservative Christian talk radio show to listen to the news (I listen online). Depending on my workload, I'll occasionally turn it down if I need to call anyone or take calls.

Somewhere around 9am, I'll take a break and actually get dressed. Working in my footy jammies after 9am just isn't a good thing (it's good I don't do video conferencing).

I'll take conference calls and make calls most of the day, typically stopping for lunch around 11:30-12:30. Some days I'll have a conference call during that time. Other days, I'll eat lunch at my desk while I work. The afternoon is pretty much the same.

Around 5pm, most of the calls die down. Sometimes, the folks on the left coast schedule calls late, so I'll get on the phone again as required. And I'll do emails and desk work until I'm finished. Then I'll check email again before I head to bed.

Everyone tells me that they envy working from home. I'm here to tell you that it ain't that great. The commute is short and the requirements for attire are easy. But it's lonely and the work day typically is longer.

Now for the heart-felt part. I like working from home. It gives me a lot of flexibility. But some days I long for the times of being in a cubicle farm, being able to make comments to others and going to lunch with colleagues. It's a true mixed bag.

Substitute Sugar

Many of my readers know that my wife is out of town, so the title of this post may raise some eye-brows. But I'm not talking about THAT kind of substitute sugar, I'm talking about the stuff that comes in little blue, yellow or pink packets. I'm talking about this kind of substitute:

When looking for an image to go with this post, I even learned there's a NEW substitute, I wonder what color package it will use? Probably green, everything seems to be going green these days.

Yesterday, I decided that I would try an alternative in my coffee. I know I can stand to lose a couple (no laughs please) of pounds, so I decided to use some of the pink packets instead of the normal stuff.

Now my coffee usually has this really rich flavor. I've gotten used to this Colombian coffee that I received as a gift earlier this summer (which is about all gone, hint, hint). It was given to me by someone who actually went to Colombia just to pick up the coffee. While they were there, they decided to make it a week long stay, see some friends and some sights etc.

I've decided that the rich coffee flavor is a combination of the special beans (if you've seen "The Bucket List", I don't want to know why these particular beans are special) and the fact that the coffee is finely ground. I'm convinced that some scientist somewhere knows that the fine ground coffee permeates every molecule of water as it brews.

But I noticed that the flavor wasn't the same with the pink stuff. This morning, I tried the blue stuff. Still not as flavorful. I don't have any of the yellow stuff, so tomorrow I'm going back to the real deal.

As a side note, why is it that we choose our sugar by color now?

Anyway, I just want to say, no substitute sugar for me. That goes for my coffee and my lips too!

A watched pot never boils

Last Monday, I posted a random thought about maintenance. This week's random thought is the phrase "a watched pot never boils."

Before I start, two mild tangents I won't explore: 1) If I have a random thoughts on schedule, is it really random? and 2) why am I limited to one random thought per week?

Anyway, Sunday morning I was toasting biscuits. I take a left-over biscuit and slice it horizontally. Add a little low-fat margarine and toast it. You can also add cinnamon and/or cinnamon combination. Toast it for a couple of minutes and then I added some high-calorie jelly. It's a wonderful, quick breakfast.

While standing waiting on the toasting event, I notice how long it took. The random thought struck my brain from somewhere out in the Kuiper Belt (where comets form), "a watched biscuit never toasts." Somehow, it doesn't have that poetic touch to it.

What else when watched never happens? Well, when you're really watching your money try to grow in a savings account or a specific stock, I think you can say watched savings never grows. You have to put the money there and leave it a while. Keep adding to it. That makes it grow. Same goes for a 401k. If you look at the balance every day, you'll think it's never going to grow.

What about weight loss? I confess, I've never changed my diet to lose weight. I probably need to, but never done it. Seems to me that if you weigh yourself every day, you won't lose any weight.

Any other ideas from my readers? I'd enter some more, but I left my coffee brewing and I think it's ready now. I didn't stand watching it because .....

Unfair advertising - Update

Back in April, I posted this entry about a local car dealer who was running unfair ads. The ads resulted in multiple law suits (reportedly 14) and customers who could not afford the cars. They purchased a car with very low payments, that soon escalated. In one report, the payments started at $47/month, then escalated to over $700. Over 50 complaints were filed with the BBB.

Well, the lawsuits have taken their toll on the dealer. The dealership filed for bankruptcy a few weeks ago. He owes hundreds of creditors and dozens of employees have lost their job. (see here for details). Now, the dealership has closed down completely.

My initial reaction is that it couldn't happen to a nicer guy (sarcasm). The guy doesn't deserve to run a car dealership. Some of the creditors who lost money are the TV stations that ran the ads and the advertising agency who created the ads. These are the folks that I identified back in April that I thought should share the burden.

However, a lot of individuals lost money too. They thought they were getting a good deal, then got stiffed. Now, I'm a believer in "Buyer Beware", and I think these people shouldn't be made 100% whole, (even though I said that in April), but this deceptive deal has cost them more than it should have.

Remember, if you see a deal that's too good to be true, it probably isn't true.

How do you define support?

In today's world, support is defined by money. When we look at presidential candidates, one metric is how much money the candidate is raising. This was constantly monitored during the primaries and will be monitored even more closely between now and November. Candidates are raising money through all types of methods, including the Internet.

My fundamental question though, is: it really "support" if everyone sends $1?

On the Internet today, you can raise money easily. There are tools like PayPal and ChipIn that allow people to safely donate to the cause du jour. I don't mean to imply that these tools are bad or that some of the collections are bad. I think it's a good way to do fund raising. But, the question is, should we measure a politician's success by his (or her) ability to raise money this way?

I saw a recent article about a candidate for the Kansas legislature who is using PayPal to raise money for his candidacy. Sean Tevis has gone from a measly $1525 in his war chest before he started his Internet campaign to over $95,000 in just two weeks. And over 1/2 of these donations were under $8.34 each. But are these 5700+ people really supporting him or are they just laughing at the comic strip on his website?

Four years ago, Howard Dean was a fund-raising machine. He even looked at fund-raising as a sporting event, playing games with Bush supporters. When Bush had a big fund-raising dinner with $1000-a-plate (and more) dinners, Dean challenged his supporters to raise even more via the Internet, a few dollars at a time. (see article here).

But of course, Dean's campaign folded during the primaries and he never even made it to the 2004 election. (Kerry won the nomination, Bush the election)

You can even go back to 1970 and see the same kind of fund raising. Of course the Internet didn't exist in 1970, so George McGovern used an early form of spam called "direct mail" to do fund raising. It was a novel approach at the time and the response he received was higher than expected. "2 percent would have been a strong response," McGovern achieved 4%. Today's standard is 1/2 percent (reference here). The fund raising paid off, he won the Democratic nomination in 1972. However, he lost in a landslide election to Richard Nixon.

Now you can look at McGovern and Dean and identify other reasons these candidates didn't finish with the results reflected in their fund-raising. I have no idea of Sean Tevis' chances. But the question remains, does financial support through these fund raising techniques reflect real support?

I think the answer is obvious. But in order to prove it, I'd like everyone on the Internet to send me $1 for more research. If I raise $1million, I'm sure it will prove I have a lot of support.

What penance must I pay?

This week's "trip du week" was a small jaunt to Atlanta. I left on Tuesday morning for a 1pm meeting, followed by 3 hours of training. An overnight stay and then more training today. I probably used a lot of carbon credits driving to Atlanta and back (slight over 300 miles). For that, I know I can call algore and pay him off to absolve myself of that sin.

But I'm unsure what to do about the hotel. See, I stayed at a Homewood Suites. It was on my company's approved hotel list, very close to the class location and wasn't the most expensive one on the list. But I had a real suite. A bedroom and a living room. There was a whirlpool tub, but I only took a shower, so no water credits need to be purchased. But somehow I feel guilty, having such a large room for just myself and only one night.

So, to where must I go to pay penance? Surely some natural law was broken.

Maybe algore has a credit I can purchase to redeem my spacious soul.

Maintenance

Random thought day.

I had this idea about maintenance. Cars need maintenance. Oil needs to be changed regularly. Belts changed, filters replaced. The inside needs to be cleaned, cups & burger bags thrown away, vacuumed, treat the vinyl so it doesn't dry out etc. Even adding gas to the tank is maintenance

If a car isn't maintained, it will soon fall apart. I speak from some experience here. Years ago, I had some major engine troubles with a car because of a lack of oil changes. Very expensive. I could have had oil changes for life with what it cost. If the car doesn't literally fall apart, it may run poorly. It will fetch less at resale time.

Other things in life need maintenance too. Doing the dishes is maintenance. Mopping, sweeping, vacuuming. The house needs maintenance. Some people like this kind of maintenance. With medication, they may be healed.

The body needs maintenance. Sleep is maintenance. Teenagers like to run without sleep. I think they are afraid they will miss some fun if they sleep. (I try to never miss out on a good nap) I'm sure exercise could be called maintenance, but that's carrying this analogy a little too far (and getting personal).

Relationships need maintenance. I need to do a better job of this.

Life in general needs maintenance. Where else is maintenance required?

Lost Music

Several years ago, I was in Wal-Mart and happened to walk up on a singer, playing guitar and singing songs. He was of course advertising his albums (actually tapes and CDs, but you know what I mean). He was dressed in a country style: blue jeans, hat, etc. I liked his music, so I bought a cassette tape (remember those?).

Trouble is, I loaned it to someone and never got it back. The singer's name was Fratt. No first name, no last name, just Fratt. The only song I remember on the tape was the Ray Boltz song "The Anchor Holds" - a really terrific song. I remember I liked the whole tape.

Today, I searched for the singer, but alas, I came up empty. I don't know if he changed his name and made it big in another country or just faded into the sunset (like a good cowboy). But I wish I could find some of his music again.

The Island - Movie Review

I'm not sure who told me about this movie ("The Island") or what possessed me to add it to our Netflix queue. The description says it's a "stylish sci-fi thriller", so I'm certain my wife didn't add it. I don't remember moving it to the top of the queue, but again, I'm sure she didn't.

Anyway, it arrived and I really didn't want to read emails last night, so it seemed like a good idea to watch a movie. I didn't recognize any of the stars, until I saw Neelix (Ethan Phillips) from Star Trek Voyager. It really bothered me until I figured out who he was.

It's hard to describe the movie without giving away the secrets. It was full of twists and turns and a LOT of action. Fast motorcycles that can ride in the air (this is Sci-fi), cool looking elevated trains. Things that blow-up, all the good stuff.

The premise is about a society that exists entirely inside. Residents dream of someday winning the lottery and going to "the island", the only uncontaminated place left outside on earth. But then the star gets bored with the same old rat-race, same clothes every day, boring job, etc. and begins to ask "why?" His discovery leads to a desparate escape and he learns more than he ever dreamed.

The movie is rated PG-13. I can't recall a lot of profanity or sex scenes, there is one implied. There's also a scene where the star looks at some pin-ups on a friend's wall, you really can't see anything. Depending on the age of the kids involved, a couple of scenes may require explanations. There is a lot of violence, things getting blown up and a few people being shot. By today's standards, it's relatively mild.

I give them movie 4 stars out of 5. The action was good, one chase scene was a little long, and I like it when things blow up. Mostly, the action was not overdone. The plot wasn't the strongest in the world, but since I was tired from 3 days of travel, it was just right. The characters were believable and the female star was pretty, but not outrageously so. I'm betting that the budget wasn't very big, they didn't seem to have a lot of anything.

My wife would probably rate it at 2 or 3 stars. She's not a sci-fi fan and just doesn't have a great appreciation for things blown up. There was a little love story involved, so that made it tolerable for her.

Can the fist bump mix with business?

Back on June 11, I predicted that business would begin to mimic the Obama Hand Bump (OHB). See my prediction here. This morning's USA Today explores this prediction. I couldn't find the article online, but received a paper copy on the door of my hotel room. Pictures of Bush hand-bumping a young male and Obama hand bumping an adult male adorn the article, details about ChaCha's CEO Scott Jones and Moen faucet maker president North Olmsted are in the article, all supporting the hand bump.

Just remember you read it here first.

Upcoming week

Someone noticed that I hadn't blogged in a while. Well, I guess I've just been busy. I learned how to make Excel talk to you this week. At a customer site, the nerds in the group were all getting Excel to say "Dude". So I listened in on their conversation and now Excel calls me a "dude" (or anything else I want).

This week promises to be busy too. I'm driving 266 miles tomorrow (with two stops in the middle), another 86 miles on Tuesday and 107 miles on Wednesday.

So, on Wednesday, I have to see a customer 1/2 miles from my hotel. Should I drive or walk on Charlotte streets in 95+ degree weather?

You can tell how motivated I am about blogging...

Global War on Terror

Anyone else notice that the Global War on Terror is back in the headlines? For a while, it seems that they wanted to talk about the War in Afghanistan or the War in Iraq, but talking about the Global War on Terror gave Bush too much credit.

This week, Obama was talking about "the central front in the War on Terror". Ok, it's not the "Global" war and he's trying to focus on Afghanistan, and he's still trying to get us out of Iraq. But it's a change in focus for Obama and attitudes in general.

People like the idea of fighting terror, they just don't like the details.

Shhh! It's a secret

One of my readers told me that she wanted to hear less about politics and instead to hear directly from my heart. This one's for you Emily.

I don't like secrets. Never have, never will. Ben Franklin supposedly said that "three can keep a secret if two of them are dead." (I can't swear he said it, even though my kids think I'm that old).

Some secrets are made to be kept. National Security requires it. Sometimes, business requires it. I can't discuss my information with my competitor. Some of my customers like to keep their information "private". All that makes sense. I don't have to do it often and I don't like it when I do.

But I hate it when people tells me something and say "now don't tell anyone" or "don't tell so-and-so". I hate it worse when they ask me not to share with my family.

So for the record, I don't keep secrets from family. Oh sure there are things that remain private. And I won't go into detail about finances with anyone but my wife. I decided long ago that my children just didn't need to know how much I made, how much I paid for my house or car. My goal was to avoid them trying to one-up their friends.

I once knew a family who believed in secrets. "Don't tell your father," the mother would say to her daughter or "don't tell your husband/wife". To me this seems to sow the seeds of distrust.

But you may say "I'm keeping this secret to protect them" to which I would say "who appointed you their protector?" Maybe when they were children. But at some point, you hope they've grown up. You hope you've trained them correctly. The husband and wife should be able to share everything.

I've also seen this protection abused. Happens more to wives by husbands, but could apply to anyone. Men "protect" their wives by hiding the truth or flat out lying to them. They end up treating their wives as lesser beings. Totally unfair. I've also seen it lead to sharing secrets with people other than a spouse. I think of this as "emotional adultery". Not surprisingly, it often leads to "physical adultery."

Now I do have an exception for some secrets. I'd call them surprises. Birthdays, Christmas, etc. Once I kept a "secret" when my wife's son came to visit on Mother's day. He was headed out of country to fight some bad guys. The surprise was wonderful. We also had a surprise birthday party for my wife. Everyone loves those kind of secrets. But these are all very specific and very time-oriented.

* Updated to correct spelling - My editor is tough. After the fact.